[lune keeps getting these incredibly concerning parts of cinnabar
but they'll be seated underneath the sakura tree after everyone's dispersed, sipping tea. the piece of cinnabar's face rests beside them, along with an additional white chrysanthemum.
[ Cinnabar doesn't move to take the spot; their shoulders stiffen, their mouth a thin line of displeasure cutting through the red fracture splitting their expression. ]
I didn't come here to debate this with you. It's my fault that Lili -- died. I killed a person. If you don't do it now, I'll make the others do it tomorrow...
She was eaten by the shark, wasn't she? I saw it in the dream. After she told me not to feed it... but I kept doing it. Because I...
[ wanted it to have a friend, even if it was dangerous. They were foolish - too foolish, for someone their age. They should have known better than to try such a thing. ]
Because you witnessed the shark being abused, and didn't understand why an animal that was moving only on instinct was harmed for not knowing better. When it is not the shark's fault for possessing a form that others deem monstrous, and you had thought it might be hungry.
Or - something similar?
[that's lune guess anyway - though it might be something of an educated guess.]
Lili's death is not your fault, just as it is not the shark's.
[though it is admittedly different the question that they originally posed - ]
At the very least, I lack interest in being your executioner. Even if I were not bound by my responsibility as an overseer to not harm any of the participants here, I prefer not to draw my blade upon those who are undeserving.
Not to mention... while you run to your death, you have not even bid farewell to Shess.
[ Cinnabar knows. They know that he wouldn't agree, because he's nice. Because he feels sorry for him. They've never done anything for him. They might need him, but he doesn't need them, and they know it. They're sure of it. ]
What's in front of me...? Four people are dead. Eight people died before they did. There's nothing but despair here... I was a fool to try and find anything else, and you're a fool for still believing otherwise.
Do you believe that it will alleviate the pain that you feel to cast aside kindness and hope as foolishness?
[there is a cant of their head to the side, beneath their hood]
You have suffered loss, just as everyone else has. If you were to disappear for a crime that you did not commit, it will only add to the heaviness in the hearts of others.
[ . . . lune will take a moment to walk back to where they were seated. they move to pick up the shard of cinnabar's face that they were given, and move to walk back to them again.
gently, carefully, they lift the shard up to where it would normally fit over their expression. they don't yet press it into place, but only hover a bit away]
You are capable of far more help than harm - perhaps more than you know.
If you truly believe that you've injured another, then I believe you - even more than others - will find atonement in your reach.
[ They don't move away from his hand when he approaches and holds out the fragment of their face, their eyes simply following the movement. Maybe they're too tired. Or maybe they want someone to comfort them - maybe they don't want to be alone, and even Lune's company is enough. ]
[ they're silent for a few seconds. The droplets of mercury on their face slip down their cheeks, joining together at their chin into a silver ball that falls to the ground. ]
... You shouldn't bother.
[ their voice is a sigh. ]
I'm sure I'll be gone soon. Someone will destroy me - or maybe I'll actually leave this place. You'll have wasted your efforts.
All beings are meant to meet their end one day. That should not come as a surprise to either of us.
[it's not the same way that a human cries and lune knows that, but it feels like the gesture might be more important than the practicality of it. their free hand is gentle as they try to brush away some of the mercury that gathers by cinnabar's eyes]
However I am of the opinion that just because relationships are fleeting, that does not mean that they are not worth the effort.
I intend to carry every memory with me, until I too will meet my demise.
[ their whole body still tenses up at any contact, like a wild animal, but they don't have the strength of will to bother slapping his hands away. Too many other things are on their mind - and if Lune wants to dirty his hands touching their poison, they don't care. Let him. He's not their friend. Their red eyes stare back at him, simultaneously wary and yielding. ]
[somehow, despite everything, that manages to get a smile to curl beneath their hood. it is not particularly soft, but it does sound the slightest bit wry when they speak again]
I am hardly a stranger to suffering.
To suffer only means that there is something that your heart holds dear.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
week 5, friday
but they'll be seated underneath the sakura tree after everyone's dispersed, sipping tea. the piece of cinnabar's face rests beside them, along with an additional white chrysanthemum.
when cinnabar approaches, lune turns toward them]
Do you require more adhesive?
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I want you to get rid of me.
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... if you would, please sit with me a moment.
[and they'll gesture to the space on the blanket beneath the tree]
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I didn't come here to debate this with you. It's my fault that Lili -- died. I killed a person. If you don't do it now, I'll make the others do it tomorrow...
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After all, you slumbered just as deeply as everyone else last night.
[lune only turns to cinnabar briefly before taking another sip of their tea]
Or would you prefer to detract from the opportunity to determine who might truly be at fault?
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[ wanted it to have a friend, even if it was dangerous. They were foolish - too foolish, for someone their age. They should have known better than to try such a thing. ]
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Or - something similar?
[that's lune guess anyway - though it might be something of an educated guess.]
Lili's death is not your fault, just as it is not the shark's.
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[ silvery liquid starts to pool around their eyes again, leaking through the crack in their face, too. ]
I can't keep doing this...
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Why is it that you run so eagerly to your own destruction?
Do you lack fear?
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[ they glare up at him as he approaches, not moving from the spot. ]
My coming here was a mistake... I want it to end. Before anything worse happens.
[ to others... and to them. ]
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[though it is admittedly different the question that they originally posed - ]
At the very least, I lack interest in being your executioner. Even if I were not bound by my responsibility as an overseer to not harm any of the participants here, I prefer not to draw my blade upon those who are undeserving.
Not to mention... while you run to your death, you have not even bid farewell to Shess.
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[ they're not blind to the fact that their relationship is very one-sided. He's done a lot for them - but, as always, they only ever take. ]
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[though even as lune says 'i wonder' - it seems like they've already come to a conclusion.]
You ought not let your own despair blind you from what's in front of you.
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What's in front of me...? Four people are dead. Eight people died before they did. There's nothing but despair here... I was a fool to try and find anything else, and you're a fool for still believing otherwise.
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[there is a cant of their head to the side, beneath their hood]
You have suffered loss, just as everyone else has. If you were to disappear for a crime that you did not commit, it will only add to the heaviness in the hearts of others.
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[ it's what they've learned to do, over the years. It's horrible, and hard, but at least they're bearing it alone and under their control. ]
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gently, carefully, they lift the shard up to where it would normally fit over their expression. they don't yet press it into place, but only hover a bit away]
You are capable of far more help than harm - perhaps more than you know.
If you truly believe that you've injured another, then I believe you - even more than others - will find atonement in your reach.
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You barely know me.
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Though hardly from a lack of attempt, I assure you.
[lune's been doing their best to comply with the things that cinnabar asks of them, at least]
Even so, I see that I have been falling short of your expectations. I will continue to try.
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... You shouldn't bother.
[ their voice is a sigh. ]
I'm sure I'll be gone soon. Someone will destroy me - or maybe I'll actually leave this place. You'll have wasted your efforts.
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[it's not the same way that a human cries and lune knows that, but it feels like the gesture might be more important than the practicality of it. their free hand is gentle as they try to brush away some of the mercury that gathers by cinnabar's eyes]
However I am of the opinion that just because relationships are fleeting, that does not mean that they are not worth the effort.
I intend to carry every memory with me, until I too will meet my demise.
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You'll suffer.
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I am hardly a stranger to suffering.
To suffer only means that there is something that your heart holds dear.
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[ they're tired of suffering. This is just another way of looking for escape. ]
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