[ Cinnabar knows. They know that he wouldn't agree, because he's nice. Because he feels sorry for him. They've never done anything for him. They might need him, but he doesn't need them, and they know it. They're sure of it. ]
What's in front of me...? Four people are dead. Eight people died before they did. There's nothing but despair here... I was a fool to try and find anything else, and you're a fool for still believing otherwise.
Do you believe that it will alleviate the pain that you feel to cast aside kindness and hope as foolishness?
[there is a cant of their head to the side, beneath their hood]
You have suffered loss, just as everyone else has. If you were to disappear for a crime that you did not commit, it will only add to the heaviness in the hearts of others.
[ . . . lune will take a moment to walk back to where they were seated. they move to pick up the shard of cinnabar's face that they were given, and move to walk back to them again.
gently, carefully, they lift the shard up to where it would normally fit over their expression. they don't yet press it into place, but only hover a bit away]
You are capable of far more help than harm - perhaps more than you know.
If you truly believe that you've injured another, then I believe you - even more than others - will find atonement in your reach.
[ They don't move away from his hand when he approaches and holds out the fragment of their face, their eyes simply following the movement. Maybe they're too tired. Or maybe they want someone to comfort them - maybe they don't want to be alone, and even Lune's company is enough. ]
[ they're silent for a few seconds. The droplets of mercury on their face slip down their cheeks, joining together at their chin into a silver ball that falls to the ground. ]
... You shouldn't bother.
[ their voice is a sigh. ]
I'm sure I'll be gone soon. Someone will destroy me - or maybe I'll actually leave this place. You'll have wasted your efforts.
All beings are meant to meet their end one day. That should not come as a surprise to either of us.
[it's not the same way that a human cries and lune knows that, but it feels like the gesture might be more important than the practicality of it. their free hand is gentle as they try to brush away some of the mercury that gathers by cinnabar's eyes]
However I am of the opinion that just because relationships are fleeting, that does not mean that they are not worth the effort.
I intend to carry every memory with me, until I too will meet my demise.
[ their whole body still tenses up at any contact, like a wild animal, but they don't have the strength of will to bother slapping his hands away. Too many other things are on their mind - and if Lune wants to dirty his hands touching their poison, they don't care. Let him. He's not their friend. Their red eyes stare back at him, simultaneously wary and yielding. ]
[somehow, despite everything, that manages to get a smile to curl beneath their hood. it is not particularly soft, but it does sound the slightest bit wry when they speak again]
I am hardly a stranger to suffering.
To suffer only means that there is something that your heart holds dear.
Is the kindness of one or two people enough to make up for watching so many others die? Including one of the kind ones? Including one that was partially because of me? Maybe for you. Don't act like I'm "ungrateful" when there's so much more misery than anything else.
My questions were sincere - it is easy for even the most sincere warmth to be drowned out amidst a harsh winter.
[it's not like lune is in the habit of judging]
It is not easy for anyone to be in this situation, and I do not mean to suggest that it is something to be grateful for. Even so, the paths in front of you are to persist and to hold onto the moments that you find dear, or to be resigned.
I hope that you will be able to find your footing for the former.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
[though even as lune says 'i wonder' - it seems like they've already come to a conclusion.]
You ought not let your own despair blind you from what's in front of you.
no subject
What's in front of me...? Four people are dead. Eight people died before they did. There's nothing but despair here... I was a fool to try and find anything else, and you're a fool for still believing otherwise.
no subject
[there is a cant of their head to the side, beneath their hood]
You have suffered loss, just as everyone else has. If you were to disappear for a crime that you did not commit, it will only add to the heaviness in the hearts of others.
no subject
[ it's what they've learned to do, over the years. It's horrible, and hard, but at least they're bearing it alone and under their control. ]
no subject
gently, carefully, they lift the shard up to where it would normally fit over their expression. they don't yet press it into place, but only hover a bit away]
You are capable of far more help than harm - perhaps more than you know.
If you truly believe that you've injured another, then I believe you - even more than others - will find atonement in your reach.
no subject
You barely know me.
no subject
Though hardly from a lack of attempt, I assure you.
[lune's been doing their best to comply with the things that cinnabar asks of them, at least]
Even so, I see that I have been falling short of your expectations. I will continue to try.
no subject
... You shouldn't bother.
[ their voice is a sigh. ]
I'm sure I'll be gone soon. Someone will destroy me - or maybe I'll actually leave this place. You'll have wasted your efforts.
no subject
[it's not the same way that a human cries and lune knows that, but it feels like the gesture might be more important than the practicality of it. their free hand is gentle as they try to brush away some of the mercury that gathers by cinnabar's eyes]
However I am of the opinion that just because relationships are fleeting, that does not mean that they are not worth the effort.
I intend to carry every memory with me, until I too will meet my demise.
no subject
You'll suffer.
no subject
I am hardly a stranger to suffering.
To suffer only means that there is something that your heart holds dear.
no subject
[ they're tired of suffering. This is just another way of looking for escape. ]
no subject
no subject
[ but by now, they sound more melancholy than panicked, at least. ]
no subject
no subject
[ so, yes. Their head droops. ]
no subject
no subject
Is the kindness of one or two people enough to make up for watching so many others die? Including one of the kind ones? Including one that was partially because of me? Maybe for you. Don't act like I'm "ungrateful" when there's so much more misery than anything else.
no subject
[it's not like lune is in the habit of judging]
It is not easy for anyone to be in this situation, and I do not mean to suggest that it is something to be grateful for. Even so, the paths in front of you are to persist and to hold onto the moments that you find dear, or to be resigned.
I hope that you will be able to find your footing for the former.
no subject
[ that's how they've always been. ]
... I don't want to hurt others. But I can't be sure that I won't. Every moment here is another moment that "Corruption" could take me, anyway...