audience: emma perkins

[cyclists]

Comments

[foodbin]

[...]

Okay. And - for me?

[unsaid]

... are you proud of your performance here, Emma?

Would you have done anything differently if you were given the chance?

[foodbin]

...Are you turning this into an opportunity to cheer me up?

[unsaid]

No - it is a sincere question.

[foodbin]

Then... No. I don't think I'm very proud.

[unsaid]

Oh...?

Might I ask why?

[foodbin]

[She shakes her head.]

What have I done that... mattered, in the end? Or made things better?

[unsaid]

Well...

If I might be so bold -

You have been my friend.

[foodbin]

[She pauses, before smiling. It's surprised and tired, but sincere.]

...Thanks. Same goes to you, you know.

[unsaid]

Thank you - it is an honor.

[and then with a smile]

Then perhaps when you are able to believe me that you have done very noble, very kind things worthy of praise during your time here... I will feel comfortable giving you your share of a sedative.

I do not often enjoy watching lives extinguish before one is able to acknowledge their own light.

[foodbin]

... I’m guessing it has to be really believing it, not just saying it, huh? I’m sorry, I just - how?

[unsaid]

Do you not believe you have taken action in service of others?

That you have made a difference to those who are here?

[foodbin]

[After a few moments:]

Even if I have, what has it mattered? The people here I care most about are all going to...

[unsaid]

... even that is not forever, Emma.

[ . . . ]

And even if it was...

Do you believe that all life is meaningless then, if it is all doomed to end in death?

[foodbin]

...I know what you're trying to make me see. And it's not that I don't get your point, I just—

[...]

Is it supposed to change how much it hurts? I didn't - again, there's not one person here I could protect. How am I supposed to be proud of that?

[unsaid]

... no, I do not think that anything would be able to so easily steal away those feelings. It is the burden of living, and being able to make one's own choices.

[ . . . ]

Even if lives cannot always be protected - that does not mean that their time spent living was a waste.

Or that it was not enriched by having you with them.

[foodbin]

I'm not... trying to say that any of them living was a waste. But I am trying to say it shouldn't have been this way.

[She blinks several times, hesitating.]

I thought - this would all be different, if I tried hard enough. But it wasn't.

[unsaid]

[ . . . . there is a hand that will reach out to rest at the top of her head, gentle and grounding]

... such a thing was not your responsibility, Emma.

It does not change that you have made things different, simply from being here. You have saved others by taking action, and learning what you have.