[ it's... weird, to talk about her. he's never done it with anyone except isa. axel looks awkward. ]
... I don't know. She couldn't remember her own name. And everything was so dark down there, we never saw her properly. [ he hasn't looked at roxas this whole time, and he's not about to start now ] I don't even know if I could recognize her if I saw her.
[ it's idle, but when he says it, he wipes under his eyes, reflexively. there are no tears. ]
The original members of the Organization-- I through VI-- were apprenticed under Ansem the Wise. And... they did human experiments on the people of Radiant Garden. She was one of 'em. That's what he meant by saying Xehanort was using her.
He called her a lab rat. [So yeah, that lines up with what he thought and what Saix said. Axel's not looking at him but Roxas continues to stare anyway, working this out slowly.]
...but why? That's what I never understood even though...that research is probably what brought me and Xion back. But if someone else got hurt by it in the first place...[That's bad.]
[ wow the morality of human experiments is. not where he thought this convo was going ]
A lot of people got hurt by it back then. DiZ-- Ansem the Wise, whatever-- is the one who agreed to start. I think they brought you guys back to... I don't know. Try and start making up for stuff.
Yeah. Probably. [There's a pause because yeah, this conversation got deep and he doesn't entirely feel qualified to talk about it right now.]
...I didn't tell him he wasn't dying because he seemed like he'd be more talkative that way. [Let's dunk on Saix some more.] But I told him most of the future.
Just that his plan had worked to bring me back and that we all got hearts in the end. He sort of figured out how that happened on his own. But I didn't tell him anything else.
We sort of already are. I can't... just because he's not recompleted yet doesn't mean I can just separate him from later that easy. Maybe I'd hold a grudge better if he was from the same time as Xion. He'd make it simple.
[ he tilts his head in thought ]
But it's not like I wouldn't have wound up the same if it wasn't for you guys.
That's the thing, isn't it? None of us would have been the same without each other, good or bad. And that's why it's hard to be mad sometimes knowing how things tuned out.
But he's still really frustrating to talk to. And I don't like that I have to keep things from any of you because it kinda feels like that. Knowing and not saying.
If we keep him on our side, things might be easier.
Definitely not. I still think keeping him separate for a while isn't a bad plan, but at least keeping him in the loop of what's going on isn't a terrible idea.
He was actually asking about the darkness and how to fight it the other day. If he wants to help, then may as well let him.
If I know what he's learned about the darkness and how it works here, I can spot anything he does without my knowledge. Controlling his information is the best I can do right now.
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... I don't know. She couldn't remember her own name. And everything was so dark down there, we never saw her properly. [ he hasn't looked at roxas this whole time, and he's not about to start now ] I don't even know if I could recognize her if I saw her.
[ it's idle, but when he says it, he wipes under his eyes, reflexively. there are no tears. ]
The original members of the Organization-- I through VI-- were apprenticed under Ansem the Wise. And... they did human experiments on the people of Radiant Garden. She was one of 'em. That's what he meant by saying Xehanort was using her.
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...but why? That's what I never understood even though...that research is probably what brought me and Xion back. But if someone else got hurt by it in the first place...[That's bad.]
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A lot of people got hurt by it back then. DiZ-- Ansem the Wise, whatever-- is the one who agreed to start. I think they brought you guys back to... I don't know. Try and start making up for stuff.
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...I don't know what to say to that.
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[ he can't relate he didn't send all of radiant garden to its fucking doom. ]
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...I didn't tell him he wasn't dying because he seemed like he'd be more talkative that way. [Let's dunk on Saix some more.] But I told him most of the future.
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Man. Maybe I am a bad influence. [ he doesn't expand on that. ] What did you tell him?
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[ that's all he says on that, though. ]
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[ he'll never know because saix will never talk to him one on one ever again after yesterday ]
That's why you told him, right? You thought it might help.
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I still don't like him very much. But he's been trying to help.
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[ a beat, and he laughs ]
Can't lie and say I'm always thrilled with him, either.
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Yeah. That's true. [But that raises a new question.] Do you think you could ever be friends with him again?
[Here, he means, because he knows how it works at home.]
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We sort of already are. I can't... just because he's not recompleted yet doesn't mean I can just separate him from later that easy. Maybe I'd hold a grudge better if he was from the same time as Xion. He'd make it simple.
[ he tilts his head in thought ]
But it's not like I wouldn't have wound up the same if it wasn't for you guys.
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But he's still really frustrating to talk to. And I don't like that I have to keep things from any of you because it kinda feels like that. Knowing and not saying.
If we keep him on our side, things might be easier.
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[ he's not sure how viable that is considering saix will never speak to him again after, last night, i cannot emphasize this enough, ]
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He was actually asking about the darkness and how to fight it the other day. If he wants to help, then may as well let him.
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[ of all people, if he's corrupted, axel knows how terrible that could be for all of them ]
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I have another chance to try and talk to the universe tonight. So I'll see what else I learn today, too.
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