audience: akane

[cyclists]

Comments

[cyclists]

Do you not believe that you might be surprised?

[specialdog]

Of course I wouldn't be surprised. I'm not stupid.

[cyclists]

I never meant to imply that you are.

I suppose I cannot help but be surprised. Even if I cannot speak for anyone else, you have made me happy.

[specialdog]

[ . . . ]

Why? How?

[cyclists]

You have come to speak with me - even despite your own rightful frustrations with the situation.

I am happy each time I get to see you.

Do you believe it has to be a great task in order to bring joy to another?

[specialdog]

[ Hey let's ignore that question entirely! ]

I'm sure lots of people come to visit you.

[cyclists]

Not as many as I am used to -

And even then, the types of visits that I am able to receive now are very different from the ones I was able to before.

For one, we are able to have a conversation.

I like hearing what you think and feel.

[specialdog]

People visited you before, but you couldn't have conversations with them?

I guess if you're some kind of spirit, that makes sense... [ that's her running theory, anyway. ]

[cyclists]

That is correct.

For many years, I was not able to possess a will of my own.

[specialdog]

I guess I can understand why this is better, then.

[cyclists]

I would say so.

Even then - I cannot help but wonder why you neglected to answer my question.

Do you not believe you are capable of bringing happiness to others as you are, as you have done with me?

[specialdog]

[ Akane... Shakes her head. ]

I can't control people, here. I can't set them to think of me a certain way, or feel a certain way.

[ ... When she's not in direct, god-mode control of other people's reality, how is she supposed to make them happy? How could people like her when she can't program them to? ]

[cyclists]

[a thoughtful pause at that]

What do you think of people who are out of your control?

Are they difficult? Hateful? Generous? Kind?

[specialdog]

They're difficult, obviously.

[ Difficult to control, haha, get it........ ]

[cyclists]

[there is a soft laugh at that - in understanding]

Humans are odd, aren't they? So full of complex, varied emotion....

[specialdog]

[ she laughs too, but it's definitely got an edge of frustration to it. ]

It's much better when I'm in control of things, you know...? This kind of thing is totally jarring for me.

[cyclists]

[there is a small nod

then wondering:]

Are you unhappy with it? Is it hard for you to learn?

[specialdog]

Of course I'm unhappy with it.

[ That comes out more aggressive than she means for it to. Quieter, she adds: ]

There's nothing to learn. I just have to get back to my world.

[cyclists]

[lune doesn't appear too bothered, at the very least. instead they just wait a beat longer, as if to allow her a moment to collect herself, and then they speak]

Mm...

I do not wish for you to be unhappy.

Would anything else, aside from the power source you seek, make it more bearable?

[specialdog]

I want the power I had back home.

[ She says it firmly, almost accusingly. Who brought her here, away from that power? Who took it from her? She doesn't have anyone else to point fingers at except for Lune, but can't bring herself to actually hate Lune yet, either.

So even though her tone comes out harsh, her expression is already resigned. ]

[cyclists]

And what power was that?

[the tone is curious - it appears as though lune doesn't know what she was capable of, and can only guess based on their conversations]

To have others do as you wished?

[specialdog]

That's right. I'm a goddess in that world. I can shape it and reshape it however I want, and I can get rid of anyone I want.

[cyclists]

Ahh, I see.

Then it must be a very tall order, to render a goddess on the same level as others - perhaps just as human as everyone else.

My apologies for the inconvenience.

[ . . . ]

... mm, but even so, I have faith in you.

[specialdog]

[ ... Not throwing a tantrum is as close to accepting the apology as she can get. This smile, like most of hers are, is very fake. ]

Faith in me? Why? [ ... No, wait, maybe she is throwing a tantrum. That why came out real derisive. ]

[cyclists]

[at the very least, she is with the npc who will not answer her tantrum with a tantrum. instead lune is as thoughtful as ever, taking a moment to be sure that they are giving her question the proper contemplation]

I have not seen a reason to fail to have faith in you.

Should a goddess not possess a believer?