So what you're saying is that there's some giant snake monster that possesses and uses a host to start killing other people and destroy the world...and you praise this guy and follow him. [Is. Is that what he's hearing here?]
Wouldn't it depend on what the goals were in the first place? A shadowed world is maybe what you've been best suited to, but that doesn't mean things can't change.
But it's a matter of wanting to change it, and I can understand people not wanting to. [Shrug.]
It isn't a matter of wanting to. We're raised and trained for that purpose-- to put the clan above all else, to follow the Head's order.
If I simply told them to live different lives, to do as they wished, they couldn't. Freedom, to them, would be hell... they would still be waiting for me to give them other orders.
[a longer pause, there, and he exhales a sigh.]
The best option to give them a better life was to try to restore our clan's position. We couldn't change, but that wasn't stopping the world from changing into one that no longer had a place for us.
...and so really, there wasn't much of a choice in the matter after all. It was either fight you way to existence, or lose your purpose and place in the world. Losing your place would displace everyone in the clan, and it would leave them directionless and at a risk of doing something even more dangerous later.
And without someone to watch after and serve this snake, that pattern would break, too. [It's hard to grasp, the whole idea of being "evil" without a choice, but somehow this puts some things into perspective.]
...exactly. Though that pattern's been broken already.
[another brief lull, there; he's been here a while now, but this was fresh when he first arrived.]
Just before I was brought here, the Orochi was slain for good. We lost our war. I lost my brother and a number of my people-- I don't know how many, if any, have survived. And-- you know the position that I was in, myself.
If I live, if any others have lived... there's nothing for me to return to, if nothing changes. Surviving alone isn't enough-- we already were only surviving.
...I'd hoped to be able to do what I spent the last decade working for, back home. To change the results of our plans-- accomplish what I failed in doing, and carve out a place for ourselves in a changed country.
But from here, there's little I can do to ensure that, and if it's true that one of us will be the deciding factor... I don't yet know how much will be left in their hands.
[his concern, ever since hearing about that, has been about whether what he can get out of this might be left up to someone else-- because few of them would grant him much, he's sure.]
Lune asked me once if I might be interested in a new life, and I'm still not certain. If nothing can be accomplished at home in the end, then... if nothing else, shouldn't I follow them, if it turns out they've all gone? I can't simply abandon them.
I don't know if I can really answer that for you. That's a tough decision to make, and I think being on this plane means having the time to be able to really think it over, and reach the people you think may be able to grant you an ending to accomplish what you really want.
I don't think abandonment is the right answer though, no. You don't seem like you'd be satisfied with a new life anyway, even if the life you've lost hasn't provided you with the rewards you were seeking.
...even if it can't be me, that doesn't mean that people won't be willing to listen. We can do our best to try and talk to the living and encourage them to be open-minded. Most of you deserve what you wanted in the first place.
[Roxas says no Hisoka rights.] You might be one of the only people to think I'd be a good option for this, even if I could be.
Nah...between me and Lune, even I think Lune's the better pick. [But there's a note of calm in his tone.]
So many of you have a lot of different things to offer to the universe. Picking only one would be a really big challenge. But...I have faith that whoever it is will be the right person for the right reasons.
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Beyond that... what conditions do you think a group made up of assassins would thrive under: peaceful ones, or chaotic?
[a slight shake of his head, there.]
A shadowed world is what we've always been best suited to, Roxas-kun.
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But it's a matter of wanting to change it, and I can understand people not wanting to. [Shrug.]
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If I simply told them to live different lives, to do as they wished, they couldn't. Freedom, to them, would be hell... they would still be waiting for me to give them other orders.
[a longer pause, there, and he exhales a sigh.]
The best option to give them a better life was to try to restore our clan's position. We couldn't change, but that wasn't stopping the world from changing into one that no longer had a place for us.
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And without someone to watch after and serve this snake, that pattern would break, too. [It's hard to grasp, the whole idea of being "evil" without a choice, but somehow this puts some things into perspective.]
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[another brief lull, there; he's been here a while now, but this was fresh when he first arrived.]
Just before I was brought here, the Orochi was slain for good. We lost our war. I lost my brother and a number of my people-- I don't know how many, if any, have survived. And-- you know the position that I was in, myself.
If I live, if any others have lived... there's nothing for me to return to, if nothing changes. Surviving alone isn't enough-- we already were only surviving.
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...what do you want most then? At the end of this. If there's nothing for you to return to, what then?
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But from here, there's little I can do to ensure that, and if it's true that one of us will be the deciding factor... I don't yet know how much will be left in their hands.
[his concern, ever since hearing about that, has been about whether what he can get out of this might be left up to someone else-- because few of them would grant him much, he's sure.]
Lune asked me once if I might be interested in a new life, and I'm still not certain. If nothing can be accomplished at home in the end, then... if nothing else, shouldn't I follow them, if it turns out they've all gone? I can't simply abandon them.
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I don't think abandonment is the right answer though, no. You don't seem like you'd be satisfied with a new life anyway, even if the life you've lost hasn't provided you with the rewards you were seeking.
But sometimes goals change. So I like to ask.
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I don't know how many left alive might be willing to actually help, but... I suppose I'll find out in the end, won't I.
It's a shame it probably can't be you.
[partly because he's listened, but... also because shirasu thinks he'd do well.]
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[Roxas says no Hisoka rights.] You might be one of the only people to think I'd be a good option for this, even if I could be.
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[there's a hum, there.]
You're a little too bright at times, yourself, but I believe you'd choose something fitting.
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So many of you have a lot of different things to offer to the universe. Picking only one would be a really big challenge. But...I have faith that whoever it is will be the right person for the right reasons.