[lune sits with her patiently and even if she's not quite voicing her anxiety, the tension seems to radiate off of her enough that they're able to tell. they don't pull away and remain in front of her, serene and peaceful as they wait.]
[ . . . there is a pause at that and lune will just gently squeeze her hand in between theirs just once]
... it is only human, to lack perfection. To be lost in the tides of everything that you must endure in life, for you are not the only one who is attempting their best at 'living' - in whatever form that may come. Uncertainty, while unpleasant, is not uncommon.
I believe in you just as much as I did the first day - no matter what turmoil you are feeling.
[ What if she isn't human? What if she doesn't want to be human? What if she just wants the tides to come and take everyone and everything out to sea to drown?
What if she doesn't want to be common?
Her face twists. ]
I don't want that. I don't want any of that! I already know I'm imperfect! I hate it! I hate it I hate it I HATE IT.
[ Her voice breaks. There isn't a danger of tears, but she's so taken off guard by that question. ]
I'm not—I'm not anything. I'm not pretty, I"m not beautiful, I'm not smart, I'm not charming, I'm none of that! The only thing unique about me is my nails, and they keep on growing even without my powers. They're so ugly. I hate them! They keep growing and growing and growing, and they're worthless! I hate them! I wish I could rip them all off.
[ She's borderline hysterical and only getting angrier by the second. ]
but lune will pause thoughtfully before moving their hand that was covering hers, as if they only want to look at her nails. then they'll gently brush their fingertips over hers, and comment rather simply:]
I think your nails are lovely.
[and their head tilts as their gaze lifts up to her face]
I think you're very lovely. Intelligent, hard-working, deserving of attention and care.
[lune will reach out - carefully, and only lightly. but their fingertips will find the curve of clover's jaw to try to keep her from her shaking, to earn her attention]
Then I will say it, and prove it, until you are able to believe me.
She lets them stop her, but the eyes that stare up at them are defiant, full of anger and hatred. Whether that anger and hatred is pointed internally or externally or both is hard to tell. ]
... I am bound so that I may not show clear favoritism....
[and they do seem rather apologetic for that but]
But I will stay with you as long as you would like, and you may share time with me for as long as you might need. If you seek distractions, or want for anything else that I can grant...
NO I'M KIDDING but she's thinking it. She is thinking it with all her might.
She looks at Lune for a long, long moment, at how they're shrouded in their hood and wonders a great many things about what's underneath and how much she really cares. ]
What I want right now, I don't think you can grant me.
[ Her voice is as cold as ice, and she abruptly stands, pulling away from them. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
What is it that you want?
How may I help?
no subject
How can you help? How can you help me feel like I'm not... I'm not....
[ Just saying that much is a lot for her. Acknowledging her faults is something she hates. They're all things she denies whenever she can. ]
I don't want to have weaknesses.
no subject
... it is only human, to lack perfection. To be lost in the tides of everything that you must endure in life, for you are not the only one who is attempting their best at 'living' - in whatever form that may come. Uncertainty, while unpleasant, is not uncommon.
I believe in you just as much as I did the first day - no matter what turmoil you are feeling.
no subject
What if she doesn't want to be common?
Her face twists. ]
I don't want that. I don't want any of that! I already know I'm imperfect! I hate it! I hate it I hate it I HATE IT.
no subject
not that lune is actually reacting to that, pausing only briefly in the face of her outburst]
... why is it that you find such disdain for yourself?
[it's a gently confused question, like lune can't fathom why she would be unhappy when they're so fond of her]
no subject
[ Her voice breaks. There isn't a danger of tears, but she's so taken off guard by that question. ]
I'm not—I'm not anything. I'm not pretty, I"m not beautiful, I'm not smart, I'm not charming, I'm none of that! The only thing unique about me is my nails, and they keep on growing even without my powers. They're so ugly. I hate them! They keep growing and growing and growing, and they're worthless! I hate them! I wish I could rip them all off.
[ She's borderline hysterical and only getting angrier by the second. ]
no subject
but lune will pause thoughtfully before moving their hand that was covering hers, as if they only want to look at her nails. then they'll gently brush their fingertips over hers, and comment rather simply:]
I think your nails are lovely.
[and their head tilts as their gaze lifts up to her face]
I think you're very lovely. Intelligent, hard-working, deserving of attention and care.
no subject
I can't believe you. I don't believe you. I won't believe you.
[ Because even someone she loves and admires to the point of imitation wants to kill her now. ]
no subject
Then I will say it, and prove it, until you are able to believe me.
no subject
She lets them stop her, but the eyes that stare up at them are defiant, full of anger and hatred. Whether that anger and hatred is pointed internally or externally or both is hard to tell. ]
How can you prove it?
no subject
... I am bound so that I may not show clear favoritism....
[and they do seem rather apologetic for that but]
But I will stay with you as long as you would like, and you may share time with me for as long as you might need. If you seek distractions, or want for anything else that I can grant...
no subject
NO I'M KIDDING but she's thinking it. She is thinking it with all her might.
She looks at Lune for a long, long moment, at how they're shrouded in their hood and wonders a great many things about what's underneath and how much she really cares. ]
What I want right now, I don't think you can grant me.
[ Her voice is as cold as ice, and she abruptly stands, pulling away from them. ]
no subject
but lune will allow her to go without trying to hold her back, their hands returning to their lap as she rises]
May I ask that you at least share what that is?
no subject
No.
[ A soft giggle escapes from her lips. ]
I don't think you should know.
no subject
[though they'll just pause as she stands in front of them]
I'm sorry I couldn't be of more help. [and they do sound sincerely saddened by this, a frown in their voice] You must be feeling very uncertain.
Even so... you may return to see me whenever you'd like, if you grow weary of hiding from others.
no subject
four is a horrible person, lune!! don't be like this!! ]
... I wonder if you'd still say the same thing if you knew what I was really thinking.
no subject
[but they don't seem entirely bothered and will keep drinking the tea that she prepared]
Even so, I won't push you to tell me. But the invitation for a place to return to will always be open for you.
no subject
So it's what she's doing. ]
Goodbye, Lune.
no subject
their voice is as fond as ever]
Until we meet again, dear Four. Please take care.