cyclists: (Default)
Subdivided Mods ([personal profile] cyclists) wrote2019-08-03 08:50 am

TL;CR



TL;CR MEME

1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Endure everyone else reading your comment like the vultures they are.
unsaid: (m21)

[personal profile] unsaid 2019-08-06 03:18 am (UTC)(link)
Why are you second, I want to die, I don’t even get any warm ups when it’s you and Eli.

Okay, first I want to talk about the same energy because reading over Shess’ made me laugh? Because Mikazuki is in a weird place when it comes to being... an existence. He’s been around for an incredibly long time, and you can argue that in the musicals considering all the missions he’s gone on, he’s probably gotten used to being a ‘person’ for a couple hundred years maybe. But he was also a sword. As a tsukumogami, he doesn’t actually know where he fits between the space of a person with emotions and autonomy, and a weapon. He’s sometimes still too ruthless and callous about death to be a human, but he’s far too sentimental and empathetic to even count as a normal sword warrior. He’s not the oldest sword at all, but he could arguably be one with the most ‘life experience’ just given the way that his own history takes him through the ages. And yet even though he’s a weapon, he was often seated by rulers and nobility, which means that he never truly lived on the battlefield as much as other swords. Add in the fact that he was in arguably powerful positions throughout history, but never held his own ability to express opinions or autonomy - he’s in a weird spot! So the constant pull between different things is what made him relate to Shess so hard, and why they both exist in this state of ‘it’s for the mission, but I’ll do things my own way’.

SO THAT’S WHERE HE’S COMING FROM, AND WHY HE THINKS HE HAD A FAIRLY EASY TIME BELIEVING AND TRUSTING IN SHESS FOR MOST OF THE GAME.

Because to start off - they had so many long, philosophical discussions, Jan, holy shit. Like I just went to go reread their first thread to review and literally just defining the role of power, what it means to protect, morality, humanity, theRE WAS SO MUCH THERE. It was an incredibly candid discussion and Mikazuki appreciated that Shess was very forthcoming about a lot of his opinions and willing to entertain his own in return? I think that really set the tone for their CR, because Mikazuki really wanted to learn everything it was that Shess had to think? Because (gestures) swords are not the type to contemplate their own existence, normally. Ookurikara hated every time that Jiji tried to nudge him to think about his new human traits, and Tsurumaru would always prefer to talk about fun things - even though Mikazuki knew that the two of them were both incredibly moral about their actions. But being able to discuss the topics with someone from a different race, and someone who was even older than him - he enjoyed it a lot? The back and forth, the chance to learn more abut Shess, even as the two of them made their way through figuring out the dynamics of the competition together.

I think it’s because they were able to talk about all these things that Mikazuki had a feeling rather early on that he could trust Shess to act in a way that would a ) preserve himself and b ) help others. He saw the connections that Shess made with people and imagined that the information network was going to be used for something good, and he was happy to see other people finding Shess responsible and trusting him, too. Milla is the one that Mikazuki would normally affectionately call his champion (Crescent and all that) but watching Shess maneuver about was a lot of Jiji sitting around and going ‘haha, yes, I would do the same’ and he enjoyed that thought because he thought it was funny sdljkfd. It was also nice because as he’d mentioned before - he’s not used to having to rely on words alone to get things done, but as a Sign, he couldn’t take action. But Shess was taking action! So he was like ‘ah, this should be fine.’

And on that note - Shess and Mikazuki were pretty open about talking about things most of the time? Even stuff from Shess’ home world that got into some pretty (frowns) territory - which is probably why Mikazuki noticed how reluctant Shess was to talk about the memory he got during his memshare with Miki. He tends to notice when people will keep things from him - Shirasu did, very intensely and obviously, and it’s why Jiji found him hard to trust - but the fact that Shess sort of suddenly clammed up about that is what make Mikazuki go ‘this must be something important’, and it’s why he pressed a little bit harder in order to try to figure out what it was, because if it was something important, and something that hurt Shess, then he wanted to be able to help him through it. Because honestly, Mikazuki is someone who is rather attuned to the pain that the people around him feel, and he wanted to help in the way that he could - even if it was just through words alone. Shess seemed to be doing so much for other people, but wouldn’t let himself be helped - and ironically, that’s exactly what Mikazuki was doing the entire game, but it’s okay when he does it and not when Shess does, okay.

Then it turned into a conversation about memories, what made it okay to forget someone, and haha oh god, Mikazuki was just (upside down emoji) the entire time during that conversation. I think he genuinely got upset on Shess’ behalf, and it’s rather hard to upset him? But the idea of it being okay to wipe out someone’s entire existence, memories and all, did upset someone whose goal is to not only protect history, but make sure that every person in history is able to live with integrity. On a more personal level, he didn’t like the level of distress that it clearly brought to his friend, and it’s why he didn’t let the topic drop between the two of them over the course of their CR, because he imagined that something like that would keep weighing rather heavily on his mind. And to be honest, it’s also when he sort of accepted that maybe something might happen later down the line that would make Shess forget him too - for whatever reason. He mentally prepared himself for that starting from then, and made the promise in his heart that he’d always find a way for the two of them to be friends again, regardless of memories.

I’m gonna be real, I don’t know remember exactly when Shess used the task that Lune gave him in order to figure out that Hisoka was lying about his element, but I need you to know that Lune was fucking delighted. He was so into it. The funny thing is that yes, Mikazuki likes to be surprised, but it’s pretty hard to actually pull off? He normally reads people pretty fucking well, and can read most situations and guide them as he pleases - but that was the first time that Shess did something kind of shady and sly, and took advantage of him? He should not have found it as fun as he did, but he totally did. It was like the grandpa mental equivalent of ‘that was hot.’ He loved it. DON’T ASK ME WHY HE WAS SO HAPPY TO BE TRICKED, HE JUST THOUGHT IT WAS FUN AND NEAT.

Other than that, he really enjoyed talking to Shess? It became something that was routine, despite the fact that the content of their conversation was rarely ever the same? It’s why Jiji went out of his way to unhood for Shess, because he wanted to be able to talk to him directly, because that’s what friends do. He also really liked to give him compliments, and generally express his affection for him, because he was aware of just how much Shess was doing in order to keep harmony between other parties, and find answers for people. Shess rebuffed it every single time, but it just made Jiji more persistent because (gestures to emma’s tl;cr) he wants to make sure that people are able to recognize the way that their efforts affect others. And he was incredibly fond of Shess and all that he did, and wanted him to know it, dammit.

It was because that it was so routine that Mikazuki noticed Shess’ absence every time something upsetting happened, and someone close to him died. He figured it was just because Shess would not have been able to keep his composure in front of someone who was asking persistently after his well-being, and didn’t want to show that level of vulnerability - wHICH JIJI UNDERSTOOD VERY, VERY WELL. So he never held it against him or anything, but all the tea and flowers that he sent were definitely with the intention to comfort from afar. He tried to keep the messages in the flowers fairly subtle, but that’s mostly because Jiji couldn’t actually bring himself to say that he missed Shess and his company, because he didn’t want him to feel guilty for taking time to himself. So instead he just was extra thorough about insisting that he was there for him during trial that one time, HAHA. But he liked having Shess’ attention? Especially after Shess was nice enough to say that seeing Mikazuki was the highlight of week....

Like the thing is that Mikazuki never felt that their relationship was even? This is probably because Mikazuki is so used to being in entirely serving roles, and would sooner fucking fall on his own blade than ask someone for help or willingly be vulnerable in front of them. The teasing and ‘tell me I’m pretty’ type comments are different, because that’s just the shallow stuff. But Mikazuki was never going to open up to Shess unless Shess was more persistent about it - and there were only two moments in the entire game that Mikazuki would have been noticeably sad, and I actually think that Shess used one of them to talk only about plot and then completely ghosted him for the other LMFAOSDFLKJ. As far as he’s concerned, there’s no debt to repay, and he doesn’t think there’s anything uneven or unbalanced about their relationship, because they’re friends, and everything he did for Shess was what he would do for a friend. (Well he would do more if he wasn’t bound as a Sign, he would’ve bended so many rules for Shess)

And there were little things that Shess said that legitimately made Mikazuki feel appreciated and like his efforts were worthwhile. “Seeing you is the highlight of my week” was a pretty bad doki moment that Mikazuki swerved because it would’ve meant talking about his own feelings, but in general just every time that Shess says that Mikazuki is fine as he is - he thinks it’s really soft. Because obviously he disagrees, and he knows that he does a lot of things that aren’t beautiful and sometimes get convoluted and annoying, but to be told that he has worth as a person and not as a weapon is still new to him. He never thought that he would be anyone’s favorite, once they actually got to know him, but Shess seemed to think that he wasn’t actually the worst.... weird.

I also think that’s why he was so awkward in the endgame thread - he expects North, Kara, and Shess to all be the angriest with him. I already told you that the stab was done out of spite and amplified by the corruption, but Jiji is literally like ‘I wouldn’t blame you if you held it against me’ even if he doesn’t like. Want them to hate them. So he was ready to disappear for like a week until they CLEARLY would have gotten over it, and then jump back in when he was feeling less immediately guilty over it. Except that didn’t happen, so now he’s just talking to Shess and being candid about seeing each other again, because Mikazuki didn’t really doubt for even a second that Shess would grant his wish.

I’m going to be honest, he probably would’ve told Kara if Kara asked, but the fact that Mikazuki had to go out of his way to tell Shess what he wanted for his wish was a big fucking deal, because he realized that he had to ask someone for help, and no matter how much he liked anyone else in the endgame crowd, he probably only could’ve brought himself to be vulnerable enough to tell one person. So he’s glad everyone else seemed to agree that it should be Shess at the end, because that was the easiest person he could admit his wish to - and he trusted that Shess would fulfill it.

THIS IS SO LONG PLEASE KILL ME

But god, anyway. They’re friends. They’re same energy while still being very different - and Mikazuki loves to fluster Shess and get him to actually emote. He likes hearing him talk about his daughter because he looks so happy about it, and he likes saying things that embarrass him because his reaction is soft. Talking to Shess was a nice way to get away from how awful everything else was, but also when they did talk about plot, Mikazuki thought it was very productive and like he could have faith in Shess. He will probably keep going to visit him when the tkrb war is over, and he’ll bring him a nice pink lotus as a present each time.

If i think of anything else I’ll edit but i have to run now