![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
TL;CR
TL;CR MEME
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Endure everyone else reading your comment like the vultures they are.
no subject
pepperidge farm remembers
despite four's cr entry to namine the week she died, she doesn't really think namine is a necrophiliac. she thought namine was a quiet and sad girl who didn't have too much of a spine? at least not one that she can see. she got that she was part of the khsquad and could hide things and be shady (because of akane outing her corruption item, her covering for xion, her trying to be kind and friends with akane after she got outed for murdering cinnabar), but other than that, four didn't think namine was too terrible. relatively speaking, i mean. everyone has some baseline of something to be considered terrible or to be jealous of for four, but some people make her react more negatively than others, and namine was inoffensive enough.
if you dug deep, you could get shit like of course people would sympathize and feel more sorry for namine and therefore she'd be less of a target to be murdered by anyone and how is that fair? etc.
but other than that, four didn't actively hate her or consider her as much as a threat as others? she did wonder about what was between her and minato and akane, though, because the picture and story the three of them made was, uhhhh, not the best in four's eyes. it was something she paid some attention to since four's cr with minato was ??? and she had ??? cr with akane, too, before that faded away. it's hypocritical when considering her ?? cr with both mikazuki and tsuru but four's a horrendous hypocrite, so!
i will say if four were less self-absorbed and not as full of ingrained bitterness and twisted self-importance, she might have been able to appreciate and like(?) namine for her trying to speak up for her at the end of w5 trial, but four was too angry and too busy trying to make herself a victim to recognize or hear namine doing that. unfortunately, four is a terrible person, so namine stays unrecognized.
no subject
four doesn't really think of the dead much, so until she died, she didn't think anything of him other than that he was the first person that died there. even when people started talking about the dead communicating with them or that the dead could be brought back, she still tried not to think too much about the dead because she didn't want to think of those killed as not... being completely dead, considering how much of a murderous bitch she is, you know?
but then she died and had to adjust her thinking. the dead had to be considered because she was dead and they were the ones she had to interact with now. imagine that. and he was like the dead spokesperson. that he was the one that he pursued friendship with her and that he was a naturally physically affectionate person—those were all really good things. hilariously, he said so many things and did so many things that were the right dialogue or action options that if she weren't so angry and bitter and hateful, he really could have charmed her instantly. more instantly.
she wants to appear like a very proper girl who can take care of herself, but she (i'd say secretly except she's kind of transparent) wants to be taken care of, too, which means she wants to be sought and actually likes it when people are more forward. she's also not completely against or uncomfortable with physical affection because she hugs her sisters easily. she just doesn't want to admit it because she's a huge liar and it goes against the image she wants to portray as being proper since she'd only known for tsuru for like a week or two. she also didn't want to acknowledge liking it with tsuru or wanted tsuru to know she was fine with it especially once she found out he and mikazuki were in a relationship. she doesn't or didn't have any real romantic feelings towards either of them at any point until the endgame log sdfsdaf (and even those feelings were fleeting, fragile, and/or questionable). she didn't push tsuru off or away because she didn't hate it and she didn't tell him it was okay because of how much she wanted it but didn't fully trust it.
believe it or not, tsuru didn't have to deal with as many of her trust issues. it was in part because she was dead so what did it matter anymore, in part because she ended up dying with a memory of happiness, and because i decided being dead hampered passive effects of being an intoner (such as her increasing paranoia that made her intensely want to kill everyone). that and her being alone and lonely is a lot of her own making with her compounded issues, so she really was at a very low point when she met tsuru.
tsuru both made her feel more and less lonely at the same time. it's complicated. i touched on how she's weak to him because of his white color scheme, which is because of, as you've probably guessed, her sister zero. a lot of her issues stem from zero in both a literal and figurative sense. four doesn't actually think tsuru is anything like zero, but he came and gave her comfort in a way that she falsely remembers zero once did for her. it makes for a combination that enables tsuru to be a filthy cheater. he's not a zero stand in or anything close to that, but there are echoes of what she desperately misses and wishes she could have from zero in the actions and words that tsuru has done for and said to her. IT'S BAD. it's bad, but it's how and why she came to accept him more easily and quickly than anyone else in the game. being reminded of zero, though, even vaguely, will eventually make her feel awful because even if it's a good thing she remembers, it comes with the fact that zero is currently out to kill her.
something that made tsuru stand out even more was the task thread in the last week. four didn't know, but her corrupted self was basically who she is going to be in a few weeks from her canon point. it was the final week, and everything was coming to an end, and she was becoming convinced that she wouldn't get a happy ending no matter what she wished. that she had to wish for it in the first place was also heartbreaking, so she was ready to just... let everything end in those corrupt worlds. she didn't want to die twice (she wasn't fully convinced they couldn't die again despite people saying the signs would stop it or whatever since it's not like the signs could be everywhere and she didn't think their jurisdiction was quite as strong in the gateway worlds), but she was fine with seeing or letting other people die twice in the gateway worlds in the end. that's why she, uh, was planning to let just let her corrupt self curbstomp tsuru. even corrupt, despite all her self-hatred, she knew she'd prioritize killing other people. haha! so that tsuru concentrated on talking to her instead of taking care of her "corrupt" self... it was significant. it was very significant. i told you that if he didn't go that route, i was planning to have four being even more awful, BUT HE PICKED THE RIGHT OPTION AND HIT HER WEAKNESSES INSTEAD lmao god.
he called her beautiful and said he'd stay with her even when after dealing with her corrupt self. four deep down knows that her corrupt self is something she could easily become without the influence of the corruption because everything her corrupt self said or did was something she's thought or imagined doing to other people, so that he would still say all that was enough to give her pause. even if it was lip service, she accepted it. her desire to be loved and acknowledged and accepted supersedes all her anger and bitterness and jealousy. she was tired and sad and bitter and she wanted that sliver of happiness that tsuru was offering her. even if it'd only last for that short moment, she'd take it.
re: the farewell log - four is a lot more pretentious when her sanity isn't completely fraying, so while she was like let's make A THOUSAND MEMORIES before we have to part ways, she didn't really mean it to that extent. she's still insincere and disingenuous, but she did want to end on a somewhat pleasant note before she went back to get fucking murdered. she wanted one more nice moment with him by the time they had to leave, and she thought she could have that with him. more than anyone else, she thought she could have that with him. any extended period of time, and it's just more time for her to come around to find something to hate him for.
four could have ended up hating tsuru so, so much, but she didn't. saying she doesn't harbor any negative feelings towards him would be a lie because ultimately, in her dark moments, in a futile attempt to feel better about herself, she finds something to hate about everyone. so while it's not like she accepts or likes everything about him, he wedged a place into her brittle heart. or like, idk, he kind of put a wedge in a hole of her heart as an awkward stopgap of sorts.
he did manage to make her feel a little better in her time there, so he was successful in his own way. it's undeniable that he's significant to her. ok i'm going to run away now because this is so long even though THEY ONLY KNEW EACH OTHER FOR 3 WEEKS AHHHHHHHH