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TL;CR
TL;CR MEME
1. Comment with your character.
2. Receive comments from others.
3. Reply to their comments with long ballads and explanations of your characters' relationship throughout the game.
4. Endure everyone else reading your comment like the vultures they are.
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i've mentioned a few times that four craves validation, but she craves it to an unhealthy degree. that's why she cried when he gave her the reasons why he chose her in their first comet thread. it's just something she really wanted to hear from someone, and he was the first one to give her any kind of substantial validation in game, so that was the jumping point. that is what made him the npc that she would gravitate towards. it's funny because she really did not want to trust mikazuki at all. to be fair, she didn't want to trust anyone in the village, but she wanted to trust him (and roxas) the least.
that he chose her to be a comet was meaningful. he was very sweet and gentle with her, and she kept waiting for the other shoe to drop. she kept expecting him to be as fake as she is essentially, but he checked up on her instead. she didn't like being encouraged to go to him in their first audience thread, but at the same time, it also started to make her wonder: is he genuine? could he really want to help her and not turn on her (like she thinks everyone else has in her life)? despite her overwhelming paranoia, she really wanted him to be genuine even if she thought the possibility was low.
a real turning point is when she started killing on her own and he was still more or less the same with her. she thought she could start believing him or fooling herself into thinking she could believe in him. it's nothing so clear cut with four when her mentality is so frayed and flips back and forth because she both wants to be cared for and loved but also doesn't want to be betrayed and therefore killed. her canon circumstances make it difficult for her to not be paranoid, but she thought... maybe she could be a little less paranoid with him, especially since no one confronted her about swift wind?
maybe? just maybe. but even with that step forward, she still didn't go to visit him that often because she was always worried, always afraid. after all, if her sister zero could betray her, anyone could turn on her. that was always in the back of her mind. if it turned out mikazuki would turn on her like zero had, she would break. she didn't realize it then, but that kind of mindset means at that point, mikazuki became important. she wanted to trust him.
and then he was her executioner (THANK YOU AGAIN FOR GRANTING MY WISH). that absolutely did ruin her for a while and complicated what she felt about him MORE. she came out of that more sad than angry (she was still very angry) for multiple reasons. to be killed by him was heartbreaking, but she was angry enough from being voted for that she could focus on her anger instead. however, he gifted her with a memory of happiness and it was very sweet of him, but it only made her sadness and resentment of her whole situation more pronounced because she's a naturally negative person. she hated everything she was feeling because he killed her, because she was killed, because she was voted to die. that's why she tried to drown out all her feelings/thoughts with the noise of every animal in the earth region in the gy. if he didn't give her that memory before he killed her, she would've woken up bitter and spitting mad and tore into anyone who talked to her instead of (gestures)
she ghosted him for that week because she would have lost absolute control of herself if she saw him. she spent that week trying to repress her thoughts and emotions of being killed by him, which is why her audience in the graveyard wasn't like super emotional. she buried that very deep. killing her is still something she can't fully forgive because she victimizes herself too much to acknowledge that she deserved it. she also doesn't want to fully acknowledge how much it hurt her. even if it was something that had to happen because of the rules set in place, it didn't mean she couldn't hate it, and she hated it so, so much.
to four, none of it was fair. she couldn't feel that modicum of safe that she felt with him anymore, not as she did before. she could only remember him killing her. that promise of staying by her side... ? she didn't even know if it still meant anything or if it was still valid or anything like that since he killed her. she was bitter. even then, she still did want to see him. she still wanted him to care about her. she couldn't ice him out of her life like she did with shirasu. despite hating all the thoughts she was having because of being executed by him, she still wanted him by her side. it's bad! it's bad.
in that vein, she was fine with corrupt jiji because then, no one was really safe from him, right? it wouldn't just be her. she lowkey hoped he would win because a corrupt universe meant she didn't have to deal with her impending future or lack of one, haha. she was kind of disappointed he didn't win, but it's just what she expected out of her luck and at that point, she expected any of her wishes to be granted at half-measures at most--by him or anyone.
when he asked her if she'd like to go with him during the farewell, she did get a partial doki but she repressed that real quick/tried to ignore it with animal sounds. she wanted to say yes, but she said no because she really did not want to see how much more he cared about other people. she's also pretty sure he'd come to dislike her or turn on her eventually, too, DESPITE EVERYTHING. she kind of has enough self-awareness that it would only make her hate herself even more and therefore hate.... everyone else more, and she wanted to leave on somewhat good terms(?).
i know i struck some fear in you irt a rejection, but four honestly would not voluntarily admit that she had 1/3 a doki because of him in her right mind. yeah, she's not usually in her right mind, but she knows mikazuki and tsurumaru are in a relationship. she's way too sensitive and weak-hearted to seek a rejection, and she is 100% certain it'd end in rejection. she's all about repression and deflection in the worst ways (the only way her true feelings are ever known are when she's having a breakdown or someone incites her), and even if someone else brought it up to her, she wouldn't want to admit it.
tl;dr four went back and forth with accepting jiji at his word. she is ending with...... accepting him mostly, but there is always a shadow in her heart. he's important, he did bring her back from being full terrible a couple times and patched a small hole in her heart but also tore another hole into it, so it's just A PENDULUM SWINGING BACK AND FORTH but she does care about him but is still bitter because of him.... she does want him to be a happy(?) memory for her, but it's hard to forget a sword to the eye.
WHY IS THIS SO LONG SALKFJS AHHHHHH I'M SO EMBARRASSED PLEASE END ME