ok so again, getting the obvious canon stuff out of the way first: wow tsuru, in general, is very fascinated by mikazuki. in every tkrb incarnation he basically wants his attention in some shape or form?? tsuru and jij are similar that they both like to be doted on, but their definitions on what that means are pretty different. tsuru just wants someone to be able to show him a good time!! and mikazuki, to him, is like the one who does that best. he'll even do things that he normally considers boring if it's with him, just because he wants to?? be with him?? but one of the differences is that tsuru doesn't really treat him as if he's some renowned sword. he brings it up if he's teasing him, but he also won't hesitate to pull jokes on him or call him out for things or anything because he doesn't care about things like titles. his only real interest in jiji being so famous is just that it means he's pretty to look at and that he's strong so it's fun to fight him. but also, they're both very same energy in a lot of things? like they both do whatever they want and don't usually listen when other people tell them to do something. like i mentioned to you before, mikazuki is like the only person where tsuru frequently calls himself an old man around?? because tsuru doesn't... act old, at all, but when he's with jiji he'll happily admit to his age.
and then there's the "i want to surprise you more than the heavens" thing which. still applies to every incarnation, i think, but it's the best example of how focused tsuru is on mikazuki. because tsuru loves surprises!! it's his thing!! all he does is run around and play pranks and finds new and exciting things to do to liven things up. and he does it because he is very old, and he knows that he's only just going to get older, and there is just so much time on his hands? immortality can get boring so he needs surprises to make sure that it doesn't happen and so that he doesn't get stuck in place. so, with all that in mind, tsuru saying that the person he wants to surprise more than anyone else is mikazuki is a. pretty big proclamation. it's like a confession, in a way, but it also shows that tsuru keeps an eye on him a lot. mikazuki gets a lot of attention from him, whether he's aware of that or not.
so, they arrive here, and tsuru became suspicious... more or less immediately. honestly the only reason that tsuru didn't flat out reach the conclusion that lune = jiji in the first thread was because that he didn't think that the signs would be anyone he knows. but also after i confirmed oocly that i figured out who it was, you said something along the lines of "yea i knew you'd figure it out fast since their dynamic is so specific" which is. yea. the first few conversations before he died were more or less tsuru knowing that this felt very familiar but trying to ignore why it was because he literally just refused to acknowledge that it could be jiji even if his brain kept going "wow grandpa energy" lmadojfsf which then just turned it into... flirting. i mentioned before that if he knew it was 100% jiji he would not have been quite as touchy as he was?? but part of it was him trying to see what he could get away with as he tried to figure it out. so it was like, "would mikazuki let be get away with doing all of this??" and it turned out it was yes, actually, but listen. but that's also the only reason he gave him the necklace. lune gave him such a familiar feeling that giving him an actual personal item was.... kind of like a gamble, i guess. it was something that was unexpected of him because tsuru is Dedicated to his aesthetic, so if lune was someone he actually knew, tsuru knew that the gift would be a surprise. otherwise... well, he didn't mind, and he also didn't expect to like, die, so he could always have asked for it back if he got bored of what they were doing. it was fine?
but then of course he did die. which is where their cr kind of went turbo in some ways. but tsuru dying was an interesting experience for him for a lot of different reasons, some that he admitted to mikazuki because he got pressed on them and others he kept close to him. the obvious is that like, tsuru is a sword?? he's an object and a weapon whose purpose is to swerve, and tsuru's history as a sword is a pretty messy one so his feelings on the concept of death is... also a little messy. considering how many of his owners were killed just because someone wanted to own him, or how people stole him from places of rest?? but he tries to be like, "well these things happen" and move on. if a sword breaks it breaks, people die and you can't do anything about it, but then he actually went and experienced death himself and he realized that actually it kind of sucked. because of the task they did he admitted that he was scared? and like i said above tsuru's whole thing is that he wants to have fun experiences. he's pretty enamored with the concept of having human emotions and what it means to be able to do things and feel things, but he wants it to be the good stuff!! so being forced to confront things like the actual fear of death was big and frightening and he wanted a refund. and like he said it was just... frustrating. tsuru's a strong sword even if he's not as strong as jiji. but he's powerful enough that he is fully aware that he could have won that fight?? but the fact that it was so early in game meant that he still wasn't used to the idea of powers so it didn't really hit him that he should use them, and he was taken by surprise when it was used on him, and it was so frustrating to be taken out like that. he would have been so pissed if he saw his trial and what people were theorizing lmao.
but the other big thing was just... where tsuru was taken from in canon. he came from a point where he isn't sure if he'll live or die?? tsuru is like. he is aware it could go either way for him back home? he knows that the chances are that his comrades will be forced to break him because that's the kind of thing you'd do for the mission. but at the same time, he believes in them fully and thinks that if anyone could find another way to end things without a death, it'll be them, and he's genuinely okay with both options. except now he has actually died, something he never experienced considering even in his sword form he never?? died??? he told jiji that his being brought here kind of ruined the tension of the situation back home since it interrupted such a key moment, and it was said jokingly? but now he died and... i don't want to say he regrets it, because he doesn't. he'll sacrifice himself for the mission and his comrades, but especially for the dategumi, any day. but now he knows what it's like to be killed, and how awful it is, so there's a new added dread to the whole thing that wasn't really there before.
(also, on a semi-related note, he regrets telling lune about that. like i said in the response to roxas, the only reason tsuru really touched on the topic was because they were guides and he figured it would be best to let them be aware of what kind of state he was coming from, but mostly it was out of concern for kara, especially considering how kara reacted in the npc intro threads?? so he figured saying something like that might make them more likely to be nicer to him but then after tsuru figured out lune was mikazuki he was like "ha ha! oh shit!" and instead just decided to never fucking bring it up again in the desperate hope that mikazuki will just forget even though he knows he won't.)
so it was the task thread that made him be like, ok yea this bitch is mikazuki. but at the same time he realized it was most likely a different mikazuki than the one he knew? he was already entertaining the thought about kara not being his, but mikazuki had said something that made tsuru go "this doesn't really align correctly for my mikazuki" but he didn't really bring it up. but honestly the fact that mikazuki never brought it up either was more or less confirmation for tsuru that they were from different citadels, because even if jiji was a sketchy fucker there was no reason to avoid the conversation as thoroughly as they did if they were from the same one, because even if they didn't talk about the hard topics, they could have discussed the nicer stuff even if it was just acorn hunting. the pc after the task was basically tsuru just trying to confirm the theory because he knew that technically he could still be wrong?? but then he wasn't.
anyway so then this is why the cr went turbo: tsuru was dead and he had nothing to fuckin do. the first week in the gy was especially hard, because the only other person besides roxas and jiji was mary, and it was... awkward. tsuru didn't blame her after he learned about corruption and all that because, as someone who is familiar with the concept already, he knew it was Complicated. but the situation was sensitive enough that he knew not to bother her too much because she was still upsetti about what happened, so that left... sol and lune, who weren't there all the time because they could go back and forth. but tsuru was bored and lonely and angry-- also you just appeared on disco right at this moment i hate you. what was i saying. anyway he had a lot of very complicated feelings that he wanted to ignore, which is also why the flirting didn't stop even after he figured out it was mikazuki because it was nice? it made him feel better doing that with him even if he didn't quite get why it did because he didn't really realize it was uh, flirting. but i mentioned that he wouldn't have figured out feelings as quickly as he did if he was still alive because he was have been preoccupied with... being in a murdergame. it would have meant less time to just hang around with nothing but his thoughts and he wouldn't have run to mikazuki so much to help pass time. like, he still would have? but not nearly as much since he'd have been distracted by other things.
and then wow, the flirting turned into. something. it was unfortunate that jiji was given porn because them talking about the book brought up the actual concept of romance which... tsuru was aware of, but he never before thought to apply it to himself. but then there they were, talking about romance and human emotions of love and affection, and that sort of thing seemed like the biggest surprise of all, the idea of a sword trying to understand a concept that was just so completely human. and he looked at mikazuki, who he already had strong feelings for, and then at all the flirting and everything else and thought that if he wanted to learn more about that particular facet of being human, there was no one else he wanted to try it with. and that's why he kissed him. tsuru didn't expect anything out of it? he was ready if they just moved on and never acknowledged it again, like if they just took it as one of his many whims, but instead it turned into? an actual thing? and it was new and exciting even if he didn't quite understand. and then in the thread after when tsuru suggested they started sharing the same futon because it's what lovers do, and jiji acted surprise that tsuru still wanted to be romantic, tsuru was... disappointed at the thought that mikazuki was already bored of it and wanted to move on, which surprised him?? a lot?? because he thought that he would also be ready to just move onto something else but it turned out he was not. but then jiji said he still wanted to try. but it wasn't until nana explained the concept of a "special person" that it really clicked for tsuru that he actually genuinely just wanted to date mikazuki.
so now he was even more invested in mikazuki. there were other reasons he was besides romance?? the other main thing being kara because with the confirmation of who lune was, tsuru was able to relax more about kara because he knew mikazuki would watch over him. it was a relief!! and tsuru was still mad that he couldn't do it himself, but he trusted that mikazuki wouldn't leave kara alone and that was a good chunk of tsuru's worries. he was also interested in plot reasons, but like i said in the roxas tlcr, tsuru went to roxas more often to discuss plot because he just thought roxas would be more upfront about what he can or can't say. he was like, "mikazuki is just going to turn this into some dramatic ass metaphor so i am going to the small child who will be more direct about it and who also won't try to spin this into some life lesson i'd rather avoid."
because wow tsuru wanted to avoid those. another reason they're similar is just that they both like to dance around the topic that is their actual feelings on certain topics. which is not that great when you're in a relationship especially because it means you're both avoiding certain things that you should definitely talk about, like the fact that you're from different damn citadels. but tsuru didn't want to talk about things that were difficult, so he let them get away with pretending things were only okay. and like, he was worried about mikazuki? tsuru had said that he didn't envy mikazuki's position in this because it was hard to be in a spot where you're literally forced to play your role, especially because he is aware that jiji is.... jiji. he does whatever the fuck he wants, and now he suddenly cannot, so tsuru knew that mikazuki had to be a lot more frustrated about things than he was letting on. but he would have let them get away with it longer if roxas didn't admit that he was also worried about mikazuki. and as soon as that happened tsuru realized he had to bring things up because he didn't want roxas to carry even more of a burden, but he also didn't want mikazuki to either. and he mostly just ended up getting really annoyed at mikazuki because tsuru may act like a moron but he isn't actually stupid, he knew that mikazuki was hiding his feelings, and tsuru was now on a mission to get mikazuki to confide in him more and it was so much trouble to get him to admit literally anything. he wanted to hit him. but in the end they did reach a compromise, which... was better than nothing, even if tsuru is still side-eyeing him. the only reason he didn't demand more is because tsuru knew he'd beforced to share more and he also didn't want to do that lmao.
OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS EXCEEDED THE CHARACTER LIMIT FOR A COMMENT I WANT TO FUCKING DIE PLEASE KILL ME AAAAA
no subject
ok so again, getting the obvious canon stuff out of the way first: wow tsuru, in general, is very fascinated by mikazuki. in every tkrb incarnation he basically wants his attention in some shape or form?? tsuru and jij are similar that they both like to be doted on, but their definitions on what that means are pretty different. tsuru just wants someone to be able to show him a good time!! and mikazuki, to him, is like the one who does that best. he'll even do things that he normally considers boring if it's with him, just because he wants to?? be with him?? but one of the differences is that tsuru doesn't really treat him as if he's some renowned sword. he brings it up if he's teasing him, but he also won't hesitate to pull jokes on him or call him out for things or anything because he doesn't care about things like titles. his only real interest in jiji being so famous is just that it means he's pretty to look at and that he's strong so it's fun to fight him. but also, they're both very same energy in a lot of things? like they both do whatever they want and don't usually listen when other people tell them to do something. like i mentioned to you before, mikazuki is like the only person where tsuru frequently calls himself an old man around?? because tsuru doesn't... act old, at all, but when he's with jiji he'll happily admit to his age.
and then there's the "i want to surprise you more than the heavens" thing which. still applies to every incarnation, i think, but it's the best example of how focused tsuru is on mikazuki. because tsuru loves surprises!! it's his thing!! all he does is run around and play pranks and finds new and exciting things to do to liven things up. and he does it because he is very old, and he knows that he's only just going to get older, and there is just so much time on his hands? immortality can get boring so he needs surprises to make sure that it doesn't happen and so that he doesn't get stuck in place. so, with all that in mind, tsuru saying that the person he wants to surprise more than anyone else is mikazuki is a. pretty big proclamation. it's like a confession, in a way, but it also shows that tsuru keeps an eye on him a lot. mikazuki gets a lot of attention from him, whether he's aware of that or not.
so, they arrive here, and tsuru became suspicious... more or less immediately. honestly the only reason that tsuru didn't flat out reach the conclusion that lune = jiji in the first thread was because that he didn't think that the signs would be anyone he knows. but also after i confirmed oocly that i figured out who it was, you said something along the lines of "yea i knew you'd figure it out fast since their dynamic is so specific" which is. yea. the first few conversations before he died were more or less tsuru knowing that this felt very familiar but trying to ignore why it was because he literally just refused to acknowledge that it could be jiji even if his brain kept going "wow grandpa energy" lmadojfsf which then just turned it into... flirting. i mentioned before that if he knew it was 100% jiji he would not have been quite as touchy as he was?? but part of it was him trying to see what he could get away with as he tried to figure it out. so it was like, "would mikazuki let be get away with doing all of this??" and it turned out it was yes, actually, but listen. but that's also the only reason he gave him the necklace. lune gave him such a familiar feeling that giving him an actual personal item was.... kind of like a gamble, i guess. it was something that was unexpected of him because tsuru is Dedicated to his aesthetic, so if lune was someone he actually knew, tsuru knew that the gift would be a surprise. otherwise... well, he didn't mind, and he also didn't expect to like, die, so he could always have asked for it back if he got bored of what they were doing. it was fine?
but then of course he did die. which is where their cr kind of went turbo in some ways. but tsuru dying was an interesting experience for him for a lot of different reasons, some that he admitted to mikazuki because he got pressed on them and others he kept close to him. the obvious is that like, tsuru is a sword?? he's an object and a weapon whose purpose is to swerve, and tsuru's history as a sword is a pretty messy one so his feelings on the concept of death is... also a little messy. considering how many of his owners were killed just because someone wanted to own him, or how people stole him from places of rest?? but he tries to be like, "well these things happen" and move on. if a sword breaks it breaks, people die and you can't do anything about it, but then he actually went and experienced death himself and he realized that actually it kind of sucked. because of the task they did he admitted that he was scared? and like i said above tsuru's whole thing is that he wants to have fun experiences. he's pretty enamored with the concept of having human emotions and what it means to be able to do things and feel things, but he wants it to be the good stuff!! so being forced to confront things like the actual fear of death was big and frightening and he wanted a refund. and like he said it was just... frustrating. tsuru's a strong sword even if he's not as strong as jiji. but he's powerful enough that he is fully aware that he could have won that fight?? but the fact that it was so early in game meant that he still wasn't used to the idea of powers so it didn't really hit him that he should use them, and he was taken by surprise when it was used on him, and it was so frustrating to be taken out like that. he would have been so pissed if he saw his trial and what people were theorizing lmao.
but the other big thing was just... where tsuru was taken from in canon. he came from a point where he isn't sure if he'll live or die?? tsuru is like. he is aware it could go either way for him back home? he knows that the chances are that his comrades will be forced to break him because that's the kind of thing you'd do for the mission. but at the same time, he believes in them fully and thinks that if anyone could find another way to end things without a death, it'll be them, and he's genuinely okay with both options. except now he has actually died, something he never experienced considering even in his sword form he never?? died??? he told jiji that his being brought here kind of ruined the tension of the situation back home since it interrupted such a key moment, and it was said jokingly? but now he died and... i don't want to say he regrets it, because he doesn't. he'll sacrifice himself for the mission and his comrades, but especially for the dategumi, any day. but now he knows what it's like to be killed, and how awful it is, so there's a new added dread to the whole thing that wasn't really there before.
(also, on a semi-related note, he regrets telling lune about that. like i said in the response to roxas, the only reason tsuru really touched on the topic was because they were guides and he figured it would be best to let them be aware of what kind of state he was coming from, but mostly it was out of concern for kara, especially considering how kara reacted in the npc intro threads?? so he figured saying something like that might make them more likely to be nicer to him but then after tsuru figured out lune was mikazuki he was like "ha ha! oh shit!" and instead just decided to never fucking bring it up again in the desperate hope that mikazuki will just forget even though he knows he won't.)
so it was the task thread that made him be like, ok yea this bitch is mikazuki. but at the same time he realized it was most likely a different mikazuki than the one he knew? he was already entertaining the thought about kara not being his, but mikazuki had said something that made tsuru go "this doesn't really align correctly for my mikazuki" but he didn't really bring it up. but honestly the fact that mikazuki never brought it up either was more or less confirmation for tsuru that they were from different citadels, because even if jiji was a sketchy fucker there was no reason to avoid the conversation as thoroughly as they did if they were from the same one, because even if they didn't talk about the hard topics, they could have discussed the nicer stuff even if it was just acorn hunting. the pc after the task was basically tsuru just trying to confirm the theory because he knew that technically he could still be wrong?? but then he wasn't.
anyway so then this is why the cr went turbo: tsuru was dead and he had nothing to fuckin do. the first week in the gy was especially hard, because the only other person besides roxas and jiji was mary, and it was... awkward. tsuru didn't blame her after he learned about corruption and all that because, as someone who is familiar with the concept already, he knew it was Complicated. but the situation was sensitive enough that he knew not to bother her too much because she was still upsetti about what happened, so that left... sol and lune, who weren't there all the time because they could go back and forth. but tsuru was bored and lonely and angry-- also you just appeared on disco right at this moment i hate you. what was i saying. anyway he had a lot of very complicated feelings that he wanted to ignore, which is also why the flirting didn't stop even after he figured out it was mikazuki because it was nice? it made him feel better doing that with him even if he didn't quite get why it did because he didn't really realize it was uh, flirting. but i mentioned that he wouldn't have figured out feelings as quickly as he did if he was still alive because he was have been preoccupied with... being in a murdergame. it would have meant less time to just hang around with nothing but his thoughts and he wouldn't have run to mikazuki so much to help pass time. like, he still would have? but not nearly as much since he'd have been distracted by other things.
and then wow, the flirting turned into. something. it was unfortunate that jiji was given porn because them talking about the book brought up the actual concept of romance which... tsuru was aware of, but he never before thought to apply it to himself. but then there they were, talking about romance and human emotions of love and affection, and that sort of thing seemed like the biggest surprise of all, the idea of a sword trying to understand a concept that was just so completely human. and he looked at mikazuki, who he already had strong feelings for, and then at all the flirting and everything else and thought that if he wanted to learn more about that particular facet of being human, there was no one else he wanted to try it with. and that's why he kissed him. tsuru didn't expect anything out of it? he was ready if they just moved on and never acknowledged it again, like if they just took it as one of his many whims, but instead it turned into? an actual thing? and it was new and exciting even if he didn't quite understand. and then in the thread after when tsuru suggested they started sharing the same futon because it's what lovers do, and jiji acted surprise that tsuru still wanted to be romantic, tsuru was... disappointed at the thought that mikazuki was already bored of it and wanted to move on, which surprised him?? a lot?? because he thought that he would also be ready to just move onto something else but it turned out he was not. but then jiji said he still wanted to try. but it wasn't until nana explained the concept of a "special person" that it really clicked for tsuru that he actually genuinely just wanted to date mikazuki.
so now he was even more invested in mikazuki. there were other reasons he was besides romance?? the other main thing being kara because with the confirmation of who lune was, tsuru was able to relax more about kara because he knew mikazuki would watch over him. it was a relief!! and tsuru was still mad that he couldn't do it himself, but he trusted that mikazuki wouldn't leave kara alone and that was a good chunk of tsuru's worries. he was also interested in plot reasons, but like i said in the roxas tlcr, tsuru went to roxas more often to discuss plot because he just thought roxas would be more upfront about what he can or can't say. he was like, "mikazuki is just going to turn this into some dramatic ass metaphor so i am going to the small child who will be more direct about it and who also won't try to spin this into some life lesson i'd rather avoid."
because wow tsuru wanted to avoid those. another reason they're similar is just that they both like to dance around the topic that is their actual feelings on certain topics. which is not that great when you're in a relationship especially because it means you're both avoiding certain things that you should definitely talk about, like the fact that you're from different damn citadels. but tsuru didn't want to talk about things that were difficult, so he let them get away with pretending things were only okay. and like, he was worried about mikazuki? tsuru had said that he didn't envy mikazuki's position in this because it was hard to be in a spot where you're literally forced to play your role, especially because he is aware that jiji is.... jiji. he does whatever the fuck he wants, and now he suddenly cannot, so tsuru knew that mikazuki had to be a lot more frustrated about things than he was letting on. but he would have let them get away with it longer if roxas didn't admit that he was also worried about mikazuki. and as soon as that happened tsuru realized he had to bring things up because he didn't want roxas to carry even more of a burden, but he also didn't want mikazuki to either. and he mostly just ended up getting really annoyed at mikazuki because tsuru may act like a moron but he isn't actually stupid, he knew that mikazuki was hiding his feelings, and tsuru was now on a mission to get mikazuki to confide in him more and it was so much trouble to get him to admit literally anything. he wanted to hit him. but in the end they did reach a compromise, which... was better than nothing, even if tsuru is still side-eyeing him. the only reason he didn't demand more is because tsuru knew he'd beforced to share more and he also didn't want to do that lmao.
OH MY FUCKING GOD THIS EXCEEDED THE CHARACTER LIMIT FOR A COMMENT I WANT TO FUCKING DIE PLEASE KILL ME AAAAA